The very first thing I believe is needed to keep your virginity till marriage and to stay sexually pure is decision. You have to get to the point that you are convinced that this is the right thing to do, and then you make a decision based on your conviction. The decision has to be from your personal conviction.
A decision you make from your personal conviction will be easier to keep, irrespective of who is watching or not. You will be holding yourself accountable to your decisions, which is the sweetest part of it all. The very fact that you are doing what you are doing out of your conviction, not because someone else forced you to gives you a good feeling. Knowing that you are doing want God wants you to do, and at the same time, you are in charge of your life. I like that feeling!
I was only 10 years of age when I made this wonderful decision, I went to the altar to make a covenant and vow to God all by myself. Looking back at that incident now, which is still very vivid in my mind, I still get amazed at myself. All I can say is thank you Jesus for how far you have brought me; you are indeed a covenant keeping God.
It is very important to set principles for yourself. The rules you will live by personally in other to achieve your goal of staying sexually pure and keeping your virginity till marriage. Without a set of dos and don’ts for yourself, you will easily go overboard without realizing it. You have to have a standard to live by.
In my case my number one principle (out of many others) was not dating. I decided not to date anyone. I have a lot of male friends; I resolved to building strong and healthy relationships with the opposite sex, but not dating until I am ready for marriage. The very first man I date for real will be my husband. Yes and that is what it has being by God’s grace.
Some people find this very strange, but sincerely speaking this is the best decision I have ever made, as regards staying sexually pure. I believe is the best decision anyone can make. This has given me the privilege to build strong and healthy relationship with the opposite sex, and at the same time enjoying my single life.
Yes the single life is a beautiful phase of life. But very few people really get to know the beauty of this phase of life, talk more of enjoying it. They are busy moving from one sexual relationship to the other all in the name of dating. As long as I am concern, in my opinion, dating is a distraction.
3. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS
You have to choose your friends! Be friendly with everyone but don’t let everyone be your friend. Choose friends that have same values as you, not the ones that will try to talk you out of your conviction. Let it be friends that will encourage you, a friend you can be accountable to and vice versa. A friend that will tell you the truth and believe in what you believe in.
4. MAKE YOUR STAND KNOWN
You have to be vocal about what you believe in, by so doing you keep yourself in constant check. It greatly helps to let does around you know your believes, and make them respect your believes. Don’t let anyone intimidate you. Be polite and firm about your beliefs and decisions for your life. Don’t force it on others and don’t let others force theirs on you.
5. CHOOSE WHERE YOU GO
You have to choose where you go to and where not to go. Avoiding being in a confirmed room with the opposite sex alone is a wise decision “He that thinks he stands should take heel list he falls”. You have to avoid going for wide parties and clubbing. Why set a trap for yourself. If you are on a diet, and you go to seat in fast food joints for hours, I wonder how far you can really fight the temptation of not breaking your diet. In my humble opinion, it is better to just stay away.
6. CHOOSE WHAT YOU LISTEN TO
The truth is you become what you constantly listen to. Be careful of the kind of music you listen to, the movies you watch, the books you read, the kind of conversation you listen to and engage in. Guild your heart with all diligence!!!
The three gates to your soul are; your eyes, your ears and your mouth. I am very strict when it comes to my choice of music. If it does not edify, then is not for me.
7. Get busy
when you occupy yourself with the right stuff, you have no time to think about the wrong stuff. “An idle mind is the devils workshop”. When I was in college, I so occupied myself with different self-building activities, ministry, school work, etc. that I barely have free time. My free times were times I slept. There was never a moment of boredom with me, even till date. There is always something to do! Yeah, welcome to my world of enjoyment. Smiles!!!
8. STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL
A lot of people struggle with alcohol addiction. It is better not to drink alcohol at all. During my counseling sections on this topic, some people admitted to the fact that they were drunk the day they were sexually violated, or gave in to sex freely ‘under the influence of alcohol’. Some said their drinks were drugged and after which they were raped.
Stay away from alcohol and save yourself the head and heart ache. There is nothing special about alcohol that you cannot do without. Some will argue, I drink but I don’t ever get drunk. Really? Bravo! We should give you an award, big deal isn’t it? Alcohol has addictive tendencies, and besides that alcohol is not good for your overall healthy (body). So stay clear of the deceptive friend called alcohol.
I hope the above few points where helpful to you. I mean those who want to keep their virginity till marriage, those practicing abstinence and those who wants to stay sexually pure.
I want you to know that keeping your virginity to marriage and staying sexually pure is not difficult or impossible as some people will like you to believe. Do not buy into such cheap lies.
It might be demanding but not impossible!
It might be challenging but is obtainable!!
It definitely will demand discipline but is worth it!!!
My journey so far has not being without challenges. At the same time it is not difficult as some people will want you to believe. I am enjoying every minute and second of my life. I am glad I made the decision and vow to dedicate my body to God. I believe you can also do the same. To God be the glory for how far He has brought me. God can also do the same for you if you ask.
I love living life, Jesus makes it all beautiful!!!!
I hope this massage helps someone out there struggling with the issue of sexual purity. It doesn’t matter how far you have fallen, if you will only take the decision and ask the Holy Spirit to help you, surely He will.
Finally, sexual purity is not only for singles, even married people struggle in this area. So take decisions, set your principles and boundaries and let the Holy Spirit help you.
I wish you a happy life, and a happy married life.
LET’S SPREAD THE WORD! VIRGINITY IS NOT A MYTH!! SEXUAL PURITY IS OBTAINABLE!!!
Dr. Bien Sufficient is a Medical Doctor, Pastor, Writer and a Public Speaker.President @Kingdom Lifestyle Movement.