HOW TO SEE AND MAXIMIZE THE DIFFERENCE IN EVERYONE YOU MEET
Through reliable study we understood that the ability to see difference is the ability to make right choices. We also found out for ourselves that wisdom is the ability to distinguish between major and secondary, because everything is relative!
There is enough light for those who want to see, and enough darkness for those who do not. – Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662), engineer, physicist, philosopher
Starting with the argument that all people around us are worthy of some honor, I would like us to see the principle which Blaise Pascal talked about. He spoke about the fact that we will always have enough power and resources to see what we want to see but if we do not want to see something in people, we will find any explanations and justifications (DARKNESS) why we did not see them.
ONLY WHERE WE SEE DIFFERENCE ARE WE ENRICHED
- Just what we see as unique enriches us
- Only from that source, where we see the uniqueness, we can get something useful
- Just what we see as difference can be a valuable tip and help us in our lives
But where we neglect the uniqueness and differences of others, we are missing what could be our wealth. Every time when you can see any person remember, he or she probably knows something that you do not know.
You cannot be enriched in dialogue with the person in which you do not see difference, where the person is better or greater than you. You should see the value they represent and can share with you. They will never be able to enrich you, if you do not see the difference, how they are different from you. ONLY THE ONE WHO IS UNLIKE US IS A HUGE VALUE FOR US.
For example, my wife can give me valuable advice on family life, pregnancy and parenting, because she has already passed this way. Her unique expertise is her difference, and thanks to this, she can become for me the person who opens my eyes to see many things unknown to me. If I need advice on how not to go the path of addiction, then who is in a better position to help me, than the person who has experienced this personally? The bitter experience of the addicted person is their distinction, and if I admit it, then they can enlighten me on this issue. How can a husband deal with a sick, bedridden wife who cannot have understanding any of what is being said, is she simply intolerable? I have not passed this way, but the husband of such a woman knows deeply well, first-hand what it’s all about and only from such a person, I can get the answer to all my questions, If I were to be in a similar situation.
If I see difference in a person: in whatever sphere their difference is in comparison to me, wherever they are superior to me, have advantages, where they are richer than me, those are the areas I can turn to that person for advice and help. However, if I just know this person, but do not see them as a source of valuable knowledge and wisdom for myself, if I do not see their wealth and resources that could be useful to me, then I would ignorantly despise what could have been a great help to me and would not in such a case turn for help where my help really is, where my questions could genuinely be answered.
We often think that our life is hard. I know a woman who lives without both legs. She uses artificial limbs, yet gave birth to a daughter, brought up the child and she lives without a husband. If you need to encourage someone or you need a source of encouragement, how to live without excuses, then go to her and ask how she can live without two legs, never complaining. How could she live like this without complaining about anything? How could she live like this without grumbling and hating the whole world, not cursing the whole world, but rather enjoying life? If I can see the difference in that woman, her experience would enrich me. However, if I do not see her difference, I deprive myself of the lessons she has acquired through wisdom.
Whatever a person is, even if they are homeless and I believe that I am better than they are, I absolutely cannot learn from them, then I need to look at them from a different perspective. Even when I clearly see myself in all respects superior to that person, then I look at this situation from the side, namely: how can I help that person? In general, this situation can be described as follows: we are leaders for someone, instructors to someone, people who are older, better, wiser. So, when we are clearly superior to the others, when it is obvious that we understand more, we see further and deeper, it is forbidden to look down on others. When we understand what they are not able to understand, when we see how we can help these people, the only thought which is right, is: ” how can I help this person?”.
Often, we observe people who live on the street. All is well with us but these people are in very poor conditions. When I’m faced with this situation, I start asking myself questions about my responsibility to this person, my human responsibility, the responsibility God imposes on me as more powerful socially. I remind myself that standing before me, is a human created in the image and likeness of God, who does not have much of what I have.
So how can I help?
How can I improve their life?
Perhaps I can tell them something sensible?
How can I give assistance: share with them a gracious smile, take them in my arms to give warmth and love, welcome them, let them know that I see them, that they are not invisible to me?
How can I somehow improve their life?
What can I offer?
Asking yourself these questions and working out a chain of responses that will then find continuation in my following actions, in this way I will destroy from the roots any reason for arrogance and pride. I will improve myself, working on my heart and attitude to people. I will not remain cold and insensitive to the people around me, not even interested in their fate. I will not run past those who need help, driving them away like annoying flies. I will not close my eyes to the needs of people, staying blind and deaf to their silent screams and moans of pain. Then I will get rid of the callousness that wants to take residence in my heart. I will not let my soul be covered with tight impenetrable scab of indifference. I think this allows me to remain human and not become a soulless animal, concerned only with my problems and needs.
When we are concerned to genuinely help someone instead of admiring ourselves and humiliating others compassion and understanding is awakened. This makes our heart better, purer and nobler. And the best way to do it is to take responsibility for something, to do something concrete to help those weaker than we are find ways how to make their lives easier.
To be continued Tomorrow, don’t miss it!
Excerpts from the Book “THE LAW OF DIFFERENCE”. #DSABOOKS
This book can be found on dsabooksplanet.com and Amazon.com
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHURCH AND NATION
By Pastor Sunday Adelaja.