You are too bold, you are too passionate, you are too strong, you are too determined, you are too strong-willed; you are too stubborn, you are too driven for a woman. These are some of the irrelevant phrases most people use when they are trying to put you down. When they try to take advantage of you and you catch them at their own game. Someone actually told me some time ago that “you are too wise for my comfort.”
Laughs, it’s amazing how people go mad when they discover they cannot take advantage of you. What a world!
Few years ago in my early days of medical school, I met this young man who felt he was a charmer and the “ladies man”. According to him, he could have his way with any lady of his choice because most of the young girls in school liked him. He took advantage of their vulnerability and felt he was a superman. Little did he know how wrong he was until he met me.
He was about 10yrs older than I was, coming from a wealthy home. He was so full of himself, flaunting the fact that he was born with a golden spoon in his mouth. I could not help but laugh in my mind at how childish he was. Somehow, he was always coming after me and disturbing me for a time out. The more I ignored him, the more he was pestering me with his request.
Finally, I accepted to have a time out with him, on my own terms. He agreed and I kept my promise to meet him. I decided the venue was to be a park around where I stayed. When we met, he started the conversation and told me about how rich his parents were, how he could get everything he wanted, how all the ladies are after him and on and on he went. After too much senseless talk, I interrupted him by asking him the million dollar question, “What is your purpose?”
He shuttled back and forth with no good response to my question. It was obvious to me that at that age of his life, he never knew what his purpose was. After a brief lecture to him on what purpose is and how everyone is nothing until they discover their purpose, his little big ego was deflated. He decided to drift away from this topic by talking about his little expertise; which was his relationship with women.
I started talking to him about sexual purity and the value of abstinence till marriage. I told him about my stand and values. Dismantling what he was priding himself in, which he called having his way with women. Seeing that he had no valid argument, and no facts to counter the way I was presenting my case with facts, “this son of a rich man” at least according to him just busted out the words….
“You are too opinionated for a woman. You are too bold for my liking. Are you sure you will ever get married?” I looked at him, smiled and said; “You know what, if every man was to be like you, I would rather remain single. Don’t you think it is high time you grew up?
Everything you have bragged about as your achievement in life in the course of our conversation today, is all vanity! My parents this, my parents that. My girlfriend this, women that. What exactly have you achieved in life as a person irrespective of your parents? If you die today, what will you be remembered for?
You don’t even know what your purpose is, and you are talking about marriage. Which reasonable woman will marry you? Well, except for empty heads like you too!”
Wow! That was harsh!! But I said without even thinking about it twice, which was very unlike me.
“Go home and think about your life,” I continued. ” Stop chasing shadows. Stop existing and start living. There is more to life than all this frivolities you are chasing. Life is deeper and far bigger than that. Seek to know God for yourself. Discover who you are and live.”
At that point, I knew it was a mission accomplished. I told him goodbye and left, while he sat glued to his seat speechless, watching me as I walked away.
That became the turning point of his life, as he later told me. The same person that was too bold for his liking and too opinionated became the person that brought the turning point to his life till date. He would have given anything to make that same person his wife, if she accepted him. What an irony!
Why did I bring this story here? I want to let you know that people will always have what to say to break you. They will attack your strength and God given gifts. They will make you feel you are a misfit for a woman because you choose to pursue your purpose. Dear ladies, Don’t ever give in to that deception. Keep being you; keep pursuing your purpose, keep living your dreams.
May be some of you might have been told or have heard statements like:
♢You are too strong for a woman
♢You are too bold for a woman
♢You are too opinionated for a woman
♢You are too driven for a woman.
♢You are too independent for woman.
Don’t listen to them. Those who are weak are the ones that will get threatened by your strength. You don’t have to reduce your strength to accommodate the weakness of another person. Life is too short to waste on things that do not matter. Live your life to the fullest.
Be strong! Be bold!! Be driven!!!
Dr. Bien Sufficient is a Medical Doctor, Pastor, Writer and a Public Speaker.President @Kingdom Lifestyle Movement.