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Sunday Adelaja'sBlog

Singles, It Is Possible To Live Without Experiencing Heart Breaks.

from: 18 . 07 . 16
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Dear singles, especially my beloved ladies, you are God’s beautiful creation, you are His treasure, why reduce yourself to an unnecessary heartache and pain. Why subject yourself to an unhealthy relationship? For how long will you subject yourself to abuse before you take your life back into your hands?



So many times I am being approached by singles facing different kind of heartbreaks, abuse, pain, low self-esteem, unwanted pregnancies, intimidation and manipulations in or from an unhealthy relationship all in the name of dating, boyfriend/girlfriend etc.

My heart bleeds when I hear all these kind of stories. I feel so sad about how we really don’t get to discover our true selves. We rather spend our single life jumping from one emotional relationship to the other, all in the name of “I want to get married”.

When singles come to me for counseling sections, after they narrate all their ugly experiences in these so called relationships, usually I do ask the simple question, why are you still in the relationship? Sincerely I get amazed at different answers and excuses I receive from people that cause them to remain in an unhealthy relationship until they are finally dumped.

There is actually no reason for you to subject yourself to such pain and inhuman treatment. Growing up as a young girl, and seeing what most ladies go through, I told myself, I don’t want to ever experience any heart breaks and I meant it. I didn’t just say it but I started working on making sure that never happened. To be frank with you, throughout my life as a single, I never had one emotional heart break. Not because I was perfect, extraordinary or a super human, I just had principles I set for myself and lived by it. These principles I will like to share with you, because I believe it can help someone.

They are:


  1. I never bordered about the issue of marriage. I rather occupied myself with the pursuit of my purpose.
  2. I discovered the purpose of singleness and learnt to enjoy my single life to the fullest. I was single and fulfilled, single and never lonely or bored.
  3. I treated the opposite sex like brothers and platonic friends.
  4. I believed in sexual purity. My motto when it comes to this, was no sex outside marriage.
  5. I discovered my value, built myself esteem and self-respect.
  6. I was sold out to God and my goals in life.
  7. I defined the standard of my relationships with people, and was very vocal about my beliefs. I never forced my beliefs on anyone, or allowed anyone to force theirs on me. It was then left for those who came around me, to either respect my standard or take a walk.

Funny enough, people will think that someone with my kind of mentality will find it difficult to get married. As a matter of fact, I have been told that a lot of times but I just smiled. Well, the opposite was the case, I cannot begin to count the number of marriage proposals I received in my short existence on the earth as a single. Know your worth, and raise the standard, respect yourself and everyone around you will respect you.

With all these in place, I didn’t have to border my head about heartbreaks. There was no area that will come from, no possibility for it to happen. Don’t get me wrong; I am not trying to paint a picture of perfection to you. I am not perfect, yes; I have made some mistakes in some other areas of life and will continue to make mistakes because I am human and mistake is a part of life. One thing I knew though, that really helped me was the fact that I knew my worth and value.


Dear singles, guide you’re your heart with all diligence. You really don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. No one can make you happy but you. You are the one with the key to your happiness and fulfillment in life. Truth be told, I enjoyed every bit of my life as a single. Oh yes I did!!! You too can …

The single life is a beautiful face of life God created, maximize every bit of it and enjoy it. It is a blessing from God and not a curse. Use this time to build yourself up for the future you desire. Stop jumping from one relationship to the other. Make your life count, pursue purpose and husband will come pursuing you, if that is what you want.

Remember no one needs a partner that will be a liability. Stop running after marriage, pursue purpose and marriage will begin to run after you, when you are ready for it. Please save yourself from the unnecessary headache, it’s not worth it. You are more valuable than that. Know your worth! Set your standard!! Build your self-esteem!!!

#LiveWithoutEmotionalHeartBreaks.

By Dr. Bien Sufficient

Dr. Bien Sufficient is a Medical Doctor, Pastor, Writer and a Public Speaker.President @Kingdom Lifestyle Movement.



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