I learned very early on in my marriage never to treat my wife as an object of satisfaction, but rather as a tank to fill with the love of Christ everyday. But the truth of the matter is that I know that I have needs that have to be satisfied, but most of those needs—if not all of them—can only be met by Jesus Christ.
An argument between spouses will often come out of a need not satisfied by either one or both members of the party. When we fight over money, we fight for our need for security that really cannot be found in finances or each other but only in Christ. When we fight over time, we fight for our need for attention and affirmation, which is found only in Christ.
I’ve only been married four years, but in such a short time, I have failed my wife in ways I never thought I would. I have hurt her, offended her and at many occasions acted like a leech trying to suck the life, joy and peace out of her only because I lacked them myself. How many times have you as a spouse found yourself in the same situation?
I am reminded by Psalm 90:14 that beautifully says this: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (ESV). Do you know why so many spouses are sucking each other dry nowadays? It’s because they have been void of the satisfaction that comes only from God. We think it’s an absurd idea to say that Jesus is more than enough, but, truth be told, He really is.
Can God pay the bills? You can be sure He can. Deuteronomy 8:18 even says that it is God who gives the power to get wealth. He is our provider and our source of finances, skill, talent and livelihood. Can God satisfy the soul? More than ever! In fact, the Bible tells us that our souls find rest in God alone.
If you’re thinking coming into a marriage that you’re lucky that you finally have someone who will complete you, make you happy or give you joy, I’m sorry to have to break this to you: It may sound like a nice hallmark card, but an attitude like that will only really show us what parasites we can be as people.
And, truly, we are people of unquenchable desire and need, but only because God designed us this way so we would be completely dependent on Him, not on people, material wealth, position, title, fame or glory. A spouse should never be your pool of satisfaction. Only Jesus is the source of our satisfaction and the service, love, caring and intimacy that we share with our spouse can only be an outcome and expression of that satisfaction we have already received in Christ.
