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Sunday Adelaja'sBlog

A Woman Has No Vision But The Vision Of Her Husband.

from: 09 . 08 . 16
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On this faithful day, I received a call from a very promising and well-to-do young man. “He must be balanced educationally,” I thought. He was a new friend I had just made. I can’t recall how he got my contact, but anyway I am a very social being when I want to be. I like associating and exchanging ideas with people, especially when it comes to those who are focused or at least know where they are going. At first, he seemed to me to be a very knowledgeable person. He had good oratory power coupled with eloquence.

Over time, we had good discussions and on one of such days, he brought up a topic about the home, family, the husband and the wife. During the course of our discussion, he made a statement that really got my attention and I couldn’t let go. He was not the first person I ever heard that from, but coming from a promising, educated and well- to-do young man, I was shocked to my bone marrows. He said to me, “A woman has no vision but the vision of her husband.” After he made the statement, I was silent for about two minutes though it seemed like eternity. He went ahead to explain that if a wife had her own vision and such vision is different from her husband’s, then there will be di-vision. Which means two visions, and this will lead to division in the home. He went further to say that the only purpose a woman has is to be a help meet to her husband.


Well, I did not hesitate to challenge that ideology right away. Permit me to say that this school of thought that reduces women to this level is from the pit of hell. I asked him, “So, do you mean that the purpose for which God created a young lady dies or disappears the moment she gets married? If this ideology is what it is, please can you explain to me the purpose and vision for which God created so many women that never got married or will never get married? Do you mean to tell me that Mother Theresa never fulfilled purpose because she was not married? Do you also mean to tell me that Kathryn Kuhlman never fulfilled purpose because she never really married? How about the women who have lost their husbands? Do their visions stop or go along with their husbands to the grave?

To make matters worse, this young man was a pastor. As of the time I was having this conversation with him few years ago, I was single in my earlier twenties. I was already the senior pastor of a church I started and that had grown into three branches at the time. I was a medical student, had written my first book, written so many articles, poems, short stories, etc. I had also started an NGO, full of so much vision that marriage was not even a thought in my mind. I was traveling from one place to another for ministrations and teachings. I asked him, “So, do you mean to tell me that every vision I have is no vision and is not from God?  I should fold my hands, sit down and wait till I get married before getting my God-given vision, which is to help my husband? Well, this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I am very sorry to say, but your thought pattern is barbaric. How could you even come up with such an ideology? How could you even say such from your mouth?”

By this time, I was so upset in my spirit because he said that is what he teaches the ladies in the church he pastors. He advised me that if I ever want to get married, I should slow down or I will drive men away. To which I replied that in the first place, I was not looking for a husband but rather the reverse was the case. Secondly, if I ever get married, I can never be married to a man who is intimidated by my personality, visions or goals or who is not ready or supportive of me pursuing my visions and goals. Thirdly, before anyone ever knew my sex, not to talk of conceiving the idea that I will be married someday, God already formed me in my mother’s womb for the accomplishment of His purpose here on earth. My first responsibility here on earth is to God and not to any human or husband.


Don’t get me wrong. I am not against the role of a woman as a help meet to her husband. However, I am totally against the ideology that a woman has no life but the life of her husband, which is what the pastor was saying invariably. These are the kind of teachings taught in our churches which have turned our ladies to lesser humans with no purpose in life. They are “husband hunting” from one place to the other with no clear sense of direction or vision for their lives. Their greatest desire or achievement is to get married to a rich man and become a housewife. What a shame?! Can you see how we have succeeded in debasing a whole personality to just a piece of property for housekeeping and baby production? Can we now see why our women are so ineffective in our societies, especially in Africa? This has to change and the time for that change is now.

Dear ladies, it is time for you to arise and fulfill the purpose for which you were created. You don’t need to be married to be great. You don’t need to be married to fulfill your purpose. You don’t need to be married to be established. Why are you sitting down, day-dreaming, waiting for a rich man to marry you? If you want riches, my dear get to work. God has given you the ability to create wealth. You don’t need to be married to be wealthy. Don’t let anything or anyone hold you down. If you are a wife, don’t get lost in that title. There is a purpose for which God created you. Discover it and fulfill it. Before you were ever married, you were first an individual with a purpose created by God for a mission on the earth.

Am I in any way saying women should disregard their responsibilities as wives or mothers? Not at all; but know that there is more to you as a woman. It is high time we stopped putting women down in the body of Christ. It is high time we empower young women to fulfill their purpose.

My dear ladies, if you do not find yourself as a single, marriage will not solve that for you. Maximize your single life now. Discover who you are. Discover your purpose and pursue it. “Your desire shall be upon your husband” was a curse that came with the fall of man. Christ came and died to restore us all from the curse of the law (women inclusive). Therefore, there is neither male no female in Christ Jesus! Always live in the consciousness of this truth, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength!!!

By Dr. Bien Sufficient

Dr. Bien Sufficient is a Medical Doctor, Pastor, Writer and a Public Speaker.President @Kingdom Lifestyle Movement.


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10 Comments to “A Woman Has No Vision But The Vision Of Her Husband.”
Thanks for this.
Dear Dr. Bien, I don't know where to start with a response but, your pastor friend is correct. Read. 1 Cor. 11:9. Secondly, pls take your friend's statement in context. He was clearly talking about a _married_ woman, not a single. Teresa was not married neither was Kathryn in ministry. Thirdly, nature itself teaches that a woman's priorities change after marriage -- and especially once she has kids. I can't explain more. Finally, I pray that you will get happily married. Then, as the wife, you will truly understand what your pastor friend was saying. Let us read your post on this topic a few years into your happy marriage. Best, o.
The saying that "A woman has no vision but the vision of her husband" is not correct. A man with a vision is quite aware that he has to marry a woman with a vision (that compliment his vision)and not a vision-less woman. Can two work together except they agree? A man with the mentality that his vision will be his wife's vision is a joker and he is heading for his destruction in marriage. If a woman is not given a vision (that complement the man's vision), she will never be able to be a help mate to her husband because Vision can never be explained but it must be conceived and understood for proper implementation. For this purpose, God created Adam (male and female) and gave him a vision (assignment). For God called both male and female ADAM (Gen 5:2). For God said, it is not good for a man to be alone; therefore he created a woman from a man as an individual. she was not created as new entity (being) but as the extension of the man to be seen physically by the man rather than being hidden within the man. On the basis of marital advice, Paul that spoke more about marriage was never married. As many that are wise either through inspiration, teachings from the Holy Spirit (the best teacher), or learning from other marriages can advise on the subject matter and not necessarily the married ones alone. For every vision given to a man, there is a woman with a vision that compliments that of the man's vision. Never marry a woman without a vision; a woman that will rely on your vision will never assist your vision because she is empty. Marry a virtuous woman (Proverb 31). Shalom
It is obvious to me she didnt get his point of view clearly. I agree with her that a woman has to find her purpose before marriage and function in it but ultimately it has to fit into her husband's purpose. They are one and the same so yes, "a woman has no vision but the vision of her husband" is correct. She couldn't get this perspective because she isn't married yet and that's why I advice people to be careful what they preach for or against. There are some certain areas that only experience will help you understand practically. Theoretical knowledge may be flawed if there hasn't been practicality of it.
The bible is clear in Genesis 2:18 when it said that God made the woman to be a helper for the man. This job description was made before the fall and the curse. This is consummated in a marriage relationship, and aptly implies that the man sets the vision of the family, the wife helps to accomplish it. In our modern civilization, women are advised to discover who their fiancé is during courtship. This discovery includes knowing the man's life goals, ambitions, and vision. A single lady going into marriage must ensure that she is ready and willing to submit herself ( which included her vision and goals) to her husband. I hope the writer will come to terms with this biblical instructions to women when she gets married. My prayer is that she be careful enough to select a husband whose vision will run in concord with hers, as this is the only way she can blend her vision with that of her husband.
The saying that "A woman has no vision but the vision of her husband" is not correct. A man with a vision is quite aware that he has to marry a woman with a vision (that compliment his vision)and not a vision-less woman. Can two work together except they agree? A man with the mentality that his vision will be his wife's vision is a joker and he is heading for his destruction in marriage. If a woman is not given a vision (that complement the man's vision), she will never be able to be a help mate to her husband because Vision can never be explained but it must be conceived and understood for proper implementation. For this purpose, God created Adam (male and female) and gave him a vision (assignment). For God called both male and female ADAM (Gen 5:2). For God said, it is not good for a man to be alone; therefore he created a woman from a man as an individual. she was not created as new entity (being) but as the extension of the man to be seen physically by the man rather than being hidden within the man. On the basis of marital advice, Paul that spoke more about marriage was never married. As many that are wise either through inspiration, teachings from the Holy Spirit (the best teacher), or learning from other marriages can advise on the subject matter and not necessarily the married ones alone. For every vision given to a man, there is a woman with a vision that compliments that of the man's vision. Never marry a woman without a vision; a woman that will rely on your vision will never assist your vision because she is empty. Marry a virtuous woman (Proverb 31). Shalom
I am married for 24 years and praise God for a man who understands that before he found me, Jesus already did and had giving me things to do. He knows I have a life to live and a master that i will render an account to. He love me and believes strongly that my loyalty should be to Jesus first. If all men understand this, it should not be a woman surrendering her vision to that of the husband. It should be about understanding that it is all about Jesus, about God's kingdom. Blending together, caring for one another's fulfillment. Before Apostle Paul encouraged women to submit to their own husbands, he first encouraged husband and wife to submit one to another. Husband should care about what God has called the wife to do and encourage her to do it, just as Joseph encouraged mary to bear the Savior of the world. Had he not heard from God, he would have thrown her out of his life because according to some men, God must consult them before using their wives. Did not God send Adam to sleep while He created Eve, if he was awake, may be he would have told God how to create her. May be like a robot that can be remote controled. We all have a place and our assignment in the house of our father.
its so unfortunate that man became rebbelious to his creator am not married but i think the word of GOD is clear what we only see is people trying to turn the word of GOD to thier own pattern or what they want not interested in what GOD want just imagined if SARAH had her own vision just imagine if the wives of JACOB had thier own vision just imagine if the wife of NOAH had her own vision there are numerous examples in the bible pride has taken over man and man has become rebelious to GOD men are not longer ready to serve GOD as HE WANT but as they want it takes a truly born again man and woman to realise GOD rememeber eve the day she didnt wait for husband to take decision sin entered what i realy realised is that right from the time of eve women had lost the role GOD CREATED them for they are no strugling with mans role and man can never fill the role of women women were created so special women were suppose to be the strenght of the man without the women the man was incomplete
Dr Bien, I'm not sure you are properly balanced in this matter making you unqualified to preach on this issue.I'd advise you'd get proper mentorship in other not to mislead young women.
Seeing a woman carrying out activities that looks good does not mean that she is in tune with God's purpose for her life. But if she gets married she and her husband must have one vision, God will never send them off in separate directions that alone contradicts the Trinity. Imagine Holy spirit with his own agenda, Jesus and the Father. The woman is well loaded and equipped to fulfill the vision with her husband equally. In fact I like to see the woman as the fuel of the vision or having the same function as the Holy spirit of promise. Jesus as I will send you the helper or comfortor

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