WE REJECT THOSE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM US
As it was argued in the Soviet Union: “You’re not like everyone else? So, you’re an enemy of the people! You must be judged! “
By the early seventies Annasoltan Kekilova had been quite a successful Soviet woman: a teacher, a journalist, on her shoulders were three published books and her songs and poems were often broadcasted on the radio. Her life as it was could have continued, if not for one event. On the eve of the XXIV Congress of the Communist party, she wrote a couple of letters in which she criticized the Republican leadership. One of the letters was addressed to the Congress, the other to the Committee. As a result of such “reckless” actions, this woman was fired from her job, and her works were banned. This made Kekilova to contact Moscow dissidents and renounce her Soviet citizenship. It was rumored that she seemed to have even requested political asylum in the UK.
But to act like this during the Soviet era was dangerous. As a result, 29 – year- old Annasoltan Kekilova was forcibly confined to a psychiatric hospital, Soviet psychiatrics had medical and punitive functions. This Young Turkmenian woman, a gifted journalist, experienced all this firsthand. Until her death, June 19, 1983 she lived in psychiatric hospitals in Aschgabad and Moscow, her books were destroyed, her house was destroyed in a fire of unknown reasons (perhaps it was burnt) with all her scrolls. Most her creative legacy was lost. Her daughter was handed over to an orphanage, without an opportunity to get even secondary education.
All these horrible things happened in the life of Annasoltan Kekilova, who was perfectly healthy before and had never been registered with a psychiatrist. Kekilova’s Grandmother could not be indifferent to the fate of her grand-daughter, this elderly woman wrote letters to Moscow to complain about the wrongs perpetrated against her family August 26, 1971: an ambulance which no one ordered and of which there was no need appeared at our home, she a perfectly healthy woman forced, twisting her arms, was pushed into a car and driven to a psychiatric hospital, having rudely shoved her under-aged son to the side. I was told that she was been taking for medical examinations, the doctors in the mental hospital told her she was healthy and they said the following: if you do not give us a personally signed statement that you were crazy and therefore wrote to the Central committee of the Communist party, you will stay in the hospital for eternity … 9] As they say, the story of the communist party is one of its kind.
In those days, everyone had to be the same, mediocre, not have an opinion and voice. To survive, it was necessary to “keep a low-profile life”, to be quiet and keep your head very low, do not have personal opinion, or at least do not voice it out. What happened if you did otherwise, is what we just read in the previous story, dear reader. I can tell you, this is an unhealthy way of building human society. This is not something that will lead us to success.
We are not created to be a gray mass, each of us is created to be unique! We need to learn to honor and appreciate the uniqueness of one another, by first noticing the original traits of each person and then respect the investments that they make in the society, due to their unique talents, we allow them to freely demonstrate their gifts and welcome the diversity of these gifts. LET’S STOP SUPPRESSING PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT LIKE US!
Every time you are confronted with people who are different from you, do not declare war on them, don’t ridicule them, don’t despise them, do not humiliate or belittle them for it. Instead, see wisdom in the fact that you’re different and looking at the same things, you see them differently. After all, it is because people are different from you, that in them is concealed something valuable for you, and therefore it is in them we need to seek wisdom. It is those who are different from you, that can enrich you. People should be appreciated and celebrated for this reason. Somebody is indignant: They behave completely in an unacceptable way! “ But if they did not behave differently, if they were an exact replica of you, then you would not need them, they would not be of any benefit to you. Therefore, that which distinguishes a person from you, is not a reason to humiliate the him. That a person is not like you does not give you any reason to belittle his dignity. WHAT DISTINGUISHES A PERSON FROM YOU IS PRECISELY THE REASON TO HONOR THEM. If they are different from you in anything, then that is exactly what makes him unique.
WHAT WE REALLY NEED
- We need someone who is totally different from us
- Only the person who is totally different from you, can truly appreciate you
- Only the person who is different from you, can enrich you
Understand that we do not need our own copy, our “Mini Me ” what would we do with them? We do not need to look for people like us! Even in marriage a man and a woman so different from each other are joined together. They are different because they have different functions in marriage: one is designed to carry and bear offspring and therefore looks for stability, safety and security, while the other is designed to protect and provide for his family and is therefore strong, skillful and powerful. It is the distinctions which attract girls and boys together, it’s what allows them to create a worthwhile and productive family.
Men and women come together in marriage because they differ from one another. What attracts them to each other? The fact that they differ from each other. No wonder they say: “Opposites attract.” Only the opposite can exalt and enrich each other but under the condition that the strength of the opposite will be recognized. Men and women fall in love because generally we like the opposite, we tend to be drawn to what is clearly different from us.
For example, why does a man marry a certain woman? Prior to proposing to that one woman, for whom he is ready to give his whole being, a man has probably seen many other women, very many different women have come his way during his life journey, there were classmates, neighbors, colleagues. Why did he choose her? Not because she looked like every other woman he met on his way. If she was like a gray mouse, unattractive and with nothing that drew his attention, if she was like every other person around her, then it would have been unlikely that he would notice her. He married her because she was different from those he was used to seeing. HER DIFFERENCE made her stand out from other contenders for his heart and his purse (just kidding!). People get married because they notice the differences in each other.
Let’s answer the question: why are some women, even though they are beautiful and intelligent still not married? The answer is simple: because each of them has not yet met the man who is able to:
- See her differences
- emphasize them
- honor her differences to the extent that he would be ready to sacrifice himself for her
The reason why one woman or the other has not yet received a marriage proposal from a man prepared to give his heart to her, is that there is yet to be a man who can convince her that he has seen her difference and really appreciates it. Only when a man has gone through all these stages, then and only then, is it worth It for a woman to give him her heart and agree to marry him.
Unmarried girls, listen! Even if you do not remember anything from this book, remember one thing: DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ANY MAN WHO DOES NOT SEE YOUR DIFFERENCE. To win your heart, he must convince you that he saw in you that which sets you apart from all the other females. He must not only see the difference from all the other girls, he should highlight and emphasize your differences from all the other girls. He should highlight your differences so that you believe in them! He should convince you of your difference from all the other women in the world! You also must watch after him, to see how much he is willing to sacrifice just to show you that you are different. For the sake of your differences, he must be ready to sacrifice, willing to pay the price. Only then, when the man emphasizes the uniqueness of a woman, that she is special, that he is ready to give his life, his money, ready to give up the comfort zone he is used to do anything for you just because you are different from all the other girls, only then, you can open your heart. Only to such a man can you get married to!
To be continued Tomorrow, don’t miss it!
Excerpts from the Book “THE LAW OF DIFFERENCE”. #DSABOOKS
This book can be found on dsabooksplanet.com and Amazon.com
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHURCH AND NATION
By Pastor Sunday Adelaja.