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Sunday Adelaja'sBlog


from: 02 . 09 . 19


Jibola sat in her plush living room, but she was far away from the sofa she sat on. Her phone chirped, bringing her out of her reverie; it was the cable company, asking if and when she intended to re-subscribe for her DStv monthly plan. She replied promptly and paid the required amount; she was always good with keeping her home in order. She was the housewife; she was Mrs. Taiwo, the wife of a wealthy real estate mogul. A day before, however, she sent her husband packing from their Ikoyi mansion; she didn’t believe it when she received news that Wale (her husband) was cheating on her with a young lady, and that the lady in question already had 2 kids for him, even when she saw evidence proving that it was true, she simply couldn’t believe her husband of twenty-five years could do that to her. On confronting Wale, however, her fears were confirmed, and she had no choice but to divorce him.

Jibola didn’t know where to start. She got married so early in her life that she didn’t have the opportunity to be anyone else but a housewife. Most of her adult life, she was Mrs. Taiwo, and now that Mr. Taiwo was gone, she didn’t know who she was. She had no job, no marketable skills, and no investments whatsoever. In the past, her job was to keep the home running, take care of her husband and children, and generally, be a good mother, a good wife. For the first time in her life, Jibola didn’t know what next to do, and she had no one to turn to; her 2 sons were in schools abroad. Growing up, all she wanted was a family, and when she had one, she felt total fulfilment, and did all she could to make them happy. Wale’s betrayal left her feeling incomplete, unwanted and unloved, it made her ask some questions of herself.

Who exactly am I? Yes, I am Wale’s wife, and I am the mother to 2 wonderful sons, but outside of those classifications, who am I? What exactly is my purpose on this earth? What have I achieved aside from being a good wife and a good mother? Her answers to those questions led to more soul searching and she decided there and then to do better; she was going to start a business with the little money she had saved, she was going to be something else apart from ‘wife’ or ‘mother’. When it was time to decide which business venture to go into, however, Jibola couldn’t make up her mind and doubts crept into her thoughts again. What if after she establishes the business and put in the required work, she loses it all like she just lost her marriage? She wondered.

Then she realized she was approaching the problem from the wrong direction. She has to first discover who she was; only then could she know what her true purpose in life is, and only then can she ever find true fulfillment. Jibola took the time to answer the most important question everyone should answer in life; this should be the starting question in life for anyone who sees fulfillment of destiny as a necessity.

Let me ask you a question – What is the most important knowledge you should never loose in life as you sojourn on this earth? Well, if I may hint you, it is not your education, it is not your family, it is not your job, and it is not even your best friend. The most vital thing you should never lose sight of is the knowledge of your true self, the knowledge of who you are; because this is the only way you can ever get to live a life that counts.

 “He who once found himself cannot lose anything in this world. He who once understood the man in him can understand all humanity” – Stefan Zweig

Just like Stefan Zweig said, if you do not lose the knowledge of your true self, you cannot lose anything else. Knowing yourself is the most vital way to make sure you are not living a life of wasted efforts which is synonymous to an ineffective life.

A lot of people wake up every day, clean up, get dressed and spend the whole day doing one thing or the other. They live their lives as if they’re robots; they never stop to consider what their real purpose in life is or whether they’re fulfilling it. They classify themselves based on the work they do or how the society views them; classifications that are, in truth, made by other people, not from a discovery of their true self. All the work you are doing day and night will eventually be irrelevant if you are not doing what you were created to do. It does not matter how many people you are trying to impress or how many people you get to like you and talk good about you, if your life is not fulfilling the desired function the Creator intended for it, it is simply a waste of time on earth. And just like Myles Munroe of blessed memory said, the best description of your life is tragedy if it is one that is lived without purpose. 

“The greatest tragedy in a human life is not death, but life without purpose”Myles Munroe

By all means, Jibola had good ambitions in mind; she wanted to do something with her life. The fact that she just lost her husband gave her the wisdom of taking the extra time to make sure the next important task she was going to embark on was one that would not be a waste of time. Then she realized that discovering her true self and living from the inside out implies that she is living her life according to her destiny. The only way to make sure you do not regret at the end of your days is to ascertain that you live the life your Creator has given. This journey begins from discovering who you are.

To be continued Tomorrow, don’t miss it!


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